Recaps Lock

So, up until recently when Cracked did the exact same thing, I've been working on a post about movies that are actually other movies. That is, movies that are unusually similar to completely different movies. I'm scrapping the post, and not just because another website beat me to the same topic (though different movies). But before I explain why, here's the list for all none of you who are interested.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade is the same movie as Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (race to find magical cups that extend life, someone at the end chooses the wrong cup, etc.)

Eurotrip is the movie as Hostel (up until a point, and credit to my college roommates for this observation almost a decade ago)

The Good, The Bad and the Ugly is the same movie as It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (with a drastic change in tone, naturally)

And my favorite: Office Space is pretty much the same movie as Fight Club (think about it)

So, the problem I kept running into as I tried to explain those wild accusations with some semblance of accuracy is that I felt the bizarre need to recap the stories of each of the movies. Not only to bring those who hadn't seen them up to speed, but to draw parallels between the plots at key points. But, every time I'd go back and review these recaps, I'd get bored out of my mind.

Lest you, Absent Reader, suggest I skip the recaps and just compare the movies, I tried that, and I had nothing to write. In a way, the post was based on the premise of the recap. And there's a very simple fact that I had to acknowledge.

Recaps are boring.

Maybe this isn't news to anyone, but let me explore the idea of the recap a little.

I only know one person who can recap an entire storyline of a movie or television episode and not bore me with it. And admittedly, my tolerance for this concession MAY stem more from personal affection than any bizarre skill at quality recapping. (I said MAY!)

Have you ever listened to someone tell you the entire plot of a movie they just watched? Not only is it beer-drinkingly dull, it destroys any possibility of you enjoying said story later on should you attempt to watch it on your own.

People forget character names, mix up key aspects of the plot timeline, forget to tell you a crucial detail that pays off in the twist later, and generally forget everything of importance. My brother, after seeing Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest tried to explain the whole giant-wheel fight scene to a friend of ours, and ruined the whole movie for him.

If I were a snarkier writer I'd say the movie did a good enough job of ruining itself in the first place, but jokes on you - I love that movie.

Detractors might at this moment say that the joke, then, is actually on me, but fuck 'em.

Sure, someone trying to fervently explain how awesome a movie is by dragging out the entire goddamn plot might be admirable in a sad way for their enthusiasm, but all around, as a recap (or a cap, since the listener hasn't actually seen the movie), it's just plain agonizing.

And that, again, is for something you haven't even seen. What about stuff you HAVE seen?

Obviously the biggest offenders of the recap are TV shows. "Previously on . . . " is a common enough opening line to a new weekly installment of your favorite show. Except, with the fluctuating popularity of mythology-dense shows like Lost and The Nine (that's still on, right?), these "Previously on"s are turning into "The entire show up until now on . . ."

Lost almost solved this problem by having hour-long catchup sessions before big episodes. . . . Except then they went ahead and did a recap at the start of the show anyway! You don't know how many times I've heard/read the phrase "Not Penny's Boat." (Oops! Spoiler alert! Like . . . a second ago).

Another major offender in this category is Supernatural. I just caught up with this show in the span of a month, and it's pretty good (yes, it's on the CW, but I assure you, despite THAT, it's good). It's got a dense and interesting mythology, yet every episode has the longest recap in history. And it's the same recap. Every time. Maybe it's because I watched them in a marathon that made me so annoyed by it, but still, we shouldn't need a wikipedia entry before every episode.

I think of comic books when I think of this issue. What does a comic do when it calls back to an event far in the past? Does it do a flashback? Sometimes, sure. Does it stop everything to catch every viewer up to speed, holding their hand over countless pages of material that you need as backstory to fully grasp the significance of what's going on now? No! It does the little asterisk, a little box, gives you the issue number and tells you to figure it out for yourself, goddamnit!

Now, obviously it'd be weird if, instead of recaps, we had pop-up windows tell us what episode to watch to get a reference in a show, but placing the responsibility on the viewer is an act I think we can all get behind.

After all, you're getting into a mythology-heavy show, shouldn't you acquaint yourself before diving right into the deep end during season 6? Isn't that part of the experience? Shouldn't knowledge of what's happened up until this episode be expected. We don't recap the english language before starting a new episode. Why should we recap everything that ever happened everywhere? It bores old viewers and, especially in later seasons, hardly adequate for new viewers.

Another issue is that the recap often spoils a surprise in the episode. See a recap mentioning a character who hasn't been on the show in a while (say, Michael, on Lost), well, I bet they're going to be in THIS episode! Reference, in the recap, a special object that's been lost (a la the demon-killing knife in Supernatural) - well, guess what's going to come back into play!

So I say, do away with the recap at the start of shows. Assume your audience can catch itself up to speed on its own time if it hasn't done so already. I know expecting anything from a television audience is asking a little too much these days (I'm blaming you, reality television), but this recap stuff really has to stop.

With two exceptions.

You can recap the previous episode, especially if it's a two-parter or your show has been on hiatus. This fulfills what the recap is actually for: to catch someone up who missed an episode or two out of inconvenience. What with DVR and Hulu, this falling behind is less common, but it happens, so I'll allow it (I am King of everything, right?)

I'll bring up Supernatural one more time. For season premiers and season finales, this show will piece together enormous recaps that actually do cover everything important up until that point. I'd complain, but they set these recaps to awesome songs like Thunderstruck by AC/DC or Carry On Wayward Son. And they edit the clips to fit the music perfectly. It's a good rev up for an important episode, like a premier or a finale - and really, these enormous recaps work in those contexts. They build hype.

So, those are my rambling thoughts on the archaic notion of the recap. Really, it's a dinosaur like outgoing voicemail messages (Seriously, who doesn't, by this point, know to leave their message after the beep? Why are we still saying this!?) and cursive writing. Let's get rid of it. And lest you think the suits won't go for it, it COULD mean more ad time for them!

But hopefully not.