CSI, oh CSI!!!!

My first REAL post, and sadly it's about something of little meaning...

So, in the process of going to bed last night when my fiance flipped on the TV I was welcomed with what was possibly my new favorite show. It's called CSI Miami...

Now before this moment I have seen clips of this show on the the Soup and Best Week Ever and had come to the conclusion that they took the worst of the show for a 5-10 second clip and hilarity would ensue. But what I instead found out last night was that this show is amazingly bad to its core. She tried to change the channel but I had to stop her, because in the first minute we had watched, there had already been two, not one but fucking two slow motion effects...

This was then followed by about four or five words of dialogue that I assume on reflection was meant to set up the scene. A group of five drug dealers are about to face off against the lovely red hair of David Caruso. The leader of the troop is brandishing a machete and staring intently at Caruso. The tension in the room is palatable. Suddenly, and without any warning Caruso fires wildly at the group taking down one of the drug dealers (Now keep in mind from taking his gun from the holster to the actual firing of the weapon, the audience has been exposed to 2 slow motion effects). Caruso then moves, first in real time, then in slow motion behind a tree branch for cover. No, not a giant log that feel off a tree, but an actual, no more than 10 inches in diameter and 2 inches in width tree branch. He fires off his remaining rounds, during which we again enter into slow motion and by this time I have lost count but I can tell you it was more slow than real-time, taking out all but the leader of this gang.

Suddenly and again without any warning, two off-road motorcycles come crashing into the scene. Did I mention the setting was a densely packed forest? I must have been distracted by the memory of Caruso's amazing red forelock. Again I will note the whole entry of the bikes was in slow-mo. Caruso, on what had to have been by this point his third clip, takes out both riders with his gun. Do I even need to say slow-mo at this point? As the two men fall SLOWLY to the ground a fucking car, I shit you not a car(designed by MTV for an upcoming, "You're broke as shit but hey we can put this nice set of lights on the floor of your car,") flies out of nowhere into this DENSELY packed forest. The passenger shoots his body out of the car and and fires wildly at Caruso, who protected by the many leaves of his branch fires back, killing the driver of the car. Upon seeing this, the passenger stops firing, hops into the driver seat and speeds away.

During all this, I guess the leader with the machete is unharmed and motionless, possibly questioning his tactics when taking down David "I hide behind tree branches" Caruso. Then, and in real, actual REAL-TIME, Caruso shoots this guy and proceeds to walk up to him and utter, "This is... Miami justice."

Greatest fucking show ever...